LightFieldStudios/Getty Images
- The lotus sex position involves one partner sitting cross-legged and the other mounting them.
- This is an incredibly intimate position since you can gaze into each other's eyes and kiss.
- It also allows both partners to have some control over the depth and rhythm of penetration.
- Visit Insider's Health Reference library for more advice.
If you're looking for a super close and intimate sex position, the lotus position is a great one to try. While sitting wrapped around your partner in lotus, you can kiss, look into their eyes, and switch up your angles for deeper penetration.
Here are a few tips you can use to make the lotus sex position even better and three variations to keep things exciting.
How to do the lotus position
Lotus is actually based on the lotus yoga position, in which you sit cross-legged, but with your feet propped on top of your thighs.
This position is often used in tantric sex, which is a slower, more meditative way to have sex and connect with your partner, says Sari Cooper, LCSW, a certified sex therapist and director of the Center for Love and Sex.
To do the lotus sex position, Cooper recommends following these steps:
- Your partner sits on a bed or other surface with their legs bent in a cross-legged position.
- You then straddle your partner, facing them as you sit in their lap.
- Wrap your legs around your partner's waist. You can also both wrap your arms around each other.
Lotus gives you the chance to be incredibly close to your partner - your entire bodies are touching and it's easy to kiss during sex.
"The position can encourage extended gazing at your partner, which may increase intimacy," Cooper says. Studies show that eye contact can ramp up your nervous system arousal, which can also increase your sexual excitement.
Lotus also gives both partners some control over movement - you can both thrust your hips and the top partner can easily adjust the depth of penetration.
Tips for maximizing pleasure during lotus position
The lotus position isn't easy for all bodies - if you're struggling to make it work, here are a couple tips Cooper gives to make lotus easier:
- If you're on the bottom and have trouble supporting the weight of your partner, you can shift your legs from the crossed position into a diamond, with the soles of your feet touching each other. Your partner can then place their weight on a cushion or pillow placed in the middle of the diamond.
- If you're on the bottom and want to free up your hands, you can sit propped against a wall. This allows you to use your hands to stimulate your partner's nipples, clitoris, penis, or other erogenous zones.
If you want to enhance your lotus experience, you can use these tantric techniques to make the experience even more intense:
- If both partners have strength in their core and arms, you can hold onto each other's backs and try rocking back and forth as a unit. "This can increase emotional comfort, and increase the depth of the penetrative thrust," Cooper says.
- "If folks want to try to become more connected in body, mind, and spirit they can coordinate their breathing," which can generate an even more sensual sexual experience, Cooper says. You can do this tantric sex technique by following these steps:
-
- Start by sitting in lotus and gazing into each other's eyes.
- Tilt your pelvises back and forth in a coordinated rhythm.
- Match your inhales and exhales to the rhythm of your movement.
Lotus variations
Once you've mastered the standard lotus, there are several different variations you can try:
Draped lotus
- To start, your partner sits cross-legged in the regular lotus position.
- Sit in your partner's lap facing them, but place your knees on top of your partner's shoulders, letting your feet drape down their back.
This can be a great variation for anal sex, because the top partner's anus is easier to reach in this position.
Chair lotus
- To start, your partner sits in a chair, either cross-legged or with legs in the usual sitting position.
- Sit on your partner's lap facing them, but let your legs hang down toward the floor.
Using a chair can help you move more freely, as both you and your partner can push off from the floor with your feet. You can also hold onto the back of the chair to support your weight while you move up and down.
Reverse lotus
- To start, your partner sits cross-legged in the standard lotus position.
- Sit on your partner's lap facing away from them, with your legs crossed or in a squatting position.
This can be a great variation if you have breasts, as your partner can hold onto them while thrusting. It may also be a good option for people having anal sex because the top partner's anus is easily accessible.
Insider's takeaway
The lotus sex position in an intimate way to connect with your partner emotionally and physically.
Lotus position can be tricky for some people, but there are several tips and variations you can try to make it work better for you and your partner.
"The beauty of this position is that it works well for humans with all variations of genitals and for those who want to add on a dildo in a strap-on," Cooper says.